Why when I make a real connection do I end up at the point that I want to seal my heart in a bricked up tomb?

This spring an acquaintance became more than just a once in awhile random chat. They needed help, I offered, and after some stubborn moments of “I got this” they realized that perhaps it was okay to admit that they didn’t and accepted my help.

Helping started out simple enough, do the task, move on to the next. As time was spent working side by side, conversations became longer and from time to time, more in-depth. We have both been hurt before by people that were supposed to be on our side. With each exchange, trust was being established.

From that first day in April, I felt at peace.

Unbeknownst to them, they were giving me a safe space. A space, looking back, I don’t think I have ever truly had as an adult.

My heart bubbled with a jumble of emotions; joy, sorrow, excitement,

For two months I flipped and flopped from sobbing to joy. In some ways, it was overwhelming. In other ways, it wasn’t enough.

Now I sit and stare at my phone. Why won’t they respond?